Allow me to take the liberty to share my latest-created phrase and its meaning: The Hindsight Guru.
The Hindsight Guru is the individual whose life has been compromised by repetitive error. This individual is typically 27+ years old (but can be younger) and is not living close to his potential -nor is he in progression to living his ideal life.
The Hindsight Guru can be male or female and can present in a variety of ways. They can be found in low wage pay, if employed, but earnings are not sufficient to live comfortably. Another presentation of the Hindsight Guru is as a person with one or more children, with one or more partners but no satisfying long term partnership or marriage.The Hindsight Guru may also be battling disease, incarcerated or is an ex-con.
The most defining trait of the Hindsight Guru is the wisdom he shares (often unsolicited.) Despite their habit for redundant blunder, the Hindsight Guru has nearly all the answers to living a successful, healthy and prosperous lifestyle. And despite the effectiveness of the knowledge they share-when applied, it is currently unapplied in his own personal life.
Although never self employed, the Hindsight Guru, will advise entrepreneurs. Despite multiple failed relationships, the Hindsight Guru will give counsel to engaged or married couples. The Hindsight Guru may even try to coach budding student athletes or critique organizations, despite having never participated in sports or structured group activity.
And when the Hindsight Guru is asked where his wisdom is reflected in his own lifestyle or history, he will often begin explaining the historic socio-economic conditions that prevented him from engaging in said wisdom. Or the Hindsight Guru who is an expert in relationships may begin explaining how all of their previous mates were ill-suited for a happy partnership. And the Hindsight Guru who is an organizational expert will clarify that people rarely appreciate his genius and are often jealous of him.
It is easy to look back and recognize mistakes and missteps and how they’ve impacted our lives. And it can be instrumental to share the lessons of one’s experience with others. However, there is always a cautionary tale with the Hindsight Guru to which we must pay attention.
As a parent, no one wants the guidance they give their children wasted in the gutter of youthful rejection and experimentation. And no parent wants their children to have their clearest vision come as a result of painful consequences and inactivity.
But as much as parents exhaust themselves in providing the best in access, resources and information; ultimately the choices children make with their lives are not in our control. And this is something with which we must come all come to peace.
As a mother of two teenage sons, I observe them navigating their world as the tether I have to them lengthens. They are surrounded by positive influences and opportunity. Still, as young black men, they are also targets of both active and passive influencers of mediocrity. Distractions clutter their path to encourage recklessness, indifference and failure.
These distractions and influencers, near and far, are among the greatest enemies of purposeful parents. Therefore, truth and its consequences continue to be refrains in my dialogue with them. I warn them profusely of the distaste of Hindsight Gurus, who didn’t and couldn't utilize their wisdom in their own youth.
I recognize that credible messengers have their place. But just as there are messengers with records of failures, there are also messengers with records of success.
And I, like all other parents, want them to study the wisdom of the successful in their present lives to foster bright and beautiful futures for themselves and for others.
Nurah strives to enlighten, empower and engage her readers with the wealth of knowledge she has gained from her own experiences and those of others from whom she has learned.